You know that colleague who always brings cake on their birthday, remembers your dog’s name, and holds the lift for you? Lovely person. Every workplace should have them.

But here’s the thing: being nice and having an inclusive culture aren’t the same thing.

Nice is surface-level harmony. Inclusion is deeper. It’s about making sure everyone gets to show up fully, be heard, and shape what happens next.

The “Nice” Trap

Years ago, I worked somewhere that was… pleasant. People said good morning, offered you a cuppa, and signed your birthday card. But when we were in meetings, the same three people ran the conversation. I once suggested a different way of running a project based on something I’d seen work before, and the response was, “We’ve always done it this way.”

It wasn’t malicious. It was just that “different” wasn’t part of the culture. The unspoken rule was: Be agreeable, don’t rock the boat.

It felt friendly, but it wasn’t inclusive.

The Inclusive Shift

Then I moved to another team where things looked similar on the outside. Still friendly, still a decent coffee machine. But there was this subtle difference.

If you were quiet in a meeting, the manager would say, “Hey Alex, you’ve worked on something like this before, what’s your take?”

When a colleague mentioned a holiday I’d never heard of, instead of moving on, someone asked, “Tell us about it. What’s the tradition?”

Here, different ideas didn’t just get airtime. They got tried. And sometimes, they actually replaced “the way we’ve always done it.”

That’s the thing about inclusion: it’s not about being endlessly agreeable. It’s about making room for more voices, more perspectives, more ways of doing things.

The Tell-Tale Signs

If you’re wondering whether your culture is inclusive or just nice, look for the clues:

• Are the same people always talking in meetings?
• When someone shares a different perspective, does it spark curiosity or does the conversation quietly move on?
• Do people feel safe to disagree without being labelled “negative”?

Small Shifts That Change Everything

The good news? You don’t need a grand “Inclusion Initiative” to start moving the needle.

• Rotate who leads the meeting. You’ll hear voices you didn’t before.
• Mark a wider range of celebrations and milestones.
• Ask quieter team members for their thoughts (and give them time to prepare if needed).
• Follow through on someone’s idea. Show it’s not just lip service.

A Quick Story to Bring It Home

A leader I know spotted a quiet star on her team. Brilliant at her work, but rarely spoke in the big team meeting. Instead of assuming she wasn’t interested, the leader asked her to share one small update in a smaller group. The next month, she asked her to co-present with a colleague.

Six months later, that same person was confidently running strategy sessions, and her ideas had become core to the way the team operated.

All it took was someone making space for her to be more than just “pleasant to have around.”

The Bottom Line

Nice cultures feel good, but they can be a bit like a well-decorated waiting room. Comfortable, but not somewhere you grow.

Inclusive cultures? They’re still nice, but they’re also bold, curious, and willing to be changed by the people in them.

So, here’s the question:
In your workplace, are people just fitting in… or do they truly belong?

Because belonging is where the magic happens.

We all know culture matters. Most people reading this don’t need convincing of that. But in the day-to-day demands of running a business or leading a team, it’s easy to underestimate just how much impact it really has.

We often think of culture as something that supports the strategy; nice to get right, but not necessarily urgent. The truth? Culture is the strategy. Or at least, it determines whether your strategy has a fighting chance. And when it’s not working, it doesn’t just feel bad. It costs time, trust, talent, and money.

Here are a few reflections I’ve had lately. You might recognise some of these patterns in your own organisation.

When Accountability Slips, So Does Trust

Culture shows up in what we tolerate. When there’s a lack of accountability – whether that’s leaders not following through, or team members unclear on expectations – trust starts to erode.

And once trust is gone? Collaboration gets harder. People stop raising issues. And performance starts to wobble in ways that show up on the P&L.

Toxicity Doesn’t Need Many Contributors to Spread

All it takes is one or two unchecked behaviours to shift the tone of a whole team. A bit of blame here, some passive resistance there … soon, people are playing it safe, checking out, or leaving altogether.

This isn’t about policing every interaction. It’s about leaders modelling what’s okay and what’s not and creating space for conversations that reset the tone when needed.

Misaligned Culture, Missed Opportunities

One of the most commercially damaging patterns? When there’s a gap between what an organisation says it values, and how things really work day-to-day.

You can’t say “we’re all about innovation” if risk-taking is punished. Or talk about inclusion if meetings are dominated by a few voices. These disconnects don’t just frustrate people, they stall progress, slow decisions, and dilute impact.

Poor Communication = Inefficient Business

When communication is inconsistent, unclear, or overly top-down, it doesn’t just frustrate – it fragments. Teams silo off, customers get mixed messages, and good work gets undone because someone wasn’t looped in.

Clear, consistent communication builds alignment. And alignment is where strategy starts to turn into action.

Burnout Is a Symptom, Not the Cause

We’re seeing more teams quietly burning out, not because people don’t care, but because the culture rewards pushing through rather than pulling back.

This isn’t a call for “more resilience training.” It’s a cultural shift. One that values rest as much as output, and sustainability as much as speed. Because burnout isn’t just a wellbeing issue; it hits performance, retention, and your employer brand hard. And it is exhausting!

Culture Is a Commercial Lever

None of this is theoretical. Culture directly affects your commercial outcomes—how well your team delivers, how loyal your customers are, how long great people stay, and how fast you can grow.

If culture is drifting, it doesn’t fix itself. But with the right attention, it can become your biggest competitive advantage.

An Invitation

This isn’t about perfection. Every culture has gaps. But it’s worth pausing from time to time and asking:

• What’s the culture we say we want?

• What’s actually happening on the ground?

• And where are we seeing commercial drag because of it?

If this resonates with you, or if you’re working through some of these challenges, I’d love to hear what you’re noticing.

Because culture doesn’t live in a spreadsheet. It lives in moments, behaviours and decisions. When we get it right – that’s when strategy turns into outcomes and culture drives real commercial impact.

Ever been in a room where you’re talking about culture challenges and someone senior says, “I don’t think it’s that bad,” or “That’s just one person’s opinion”? And you’re sitting there thinking, Really? Because it’s kind of obvious to the rest of us.

Welcome to one of the trickiest spots in culture work: when the people with the most power to shift the culture are in denial that there’s even a problem.

The truth is, most leaders don’t deny issues out of malice or ego. It’s usually a mix of being too close to the problem, not wanting to open a can of worms, or honestly believing everything’s fine because no one’s told them otherwise. And sometimes, people have tried to raise concerns; they just didn’t say it in a way that made it land.

So what can you do when the data says the culture’s off, the team feels it in their bones… and the execs are still saying “it’s fine”?

Let’s break it down.

1. Talk in terms they care about

Forget trying to convince people that “culture matters” on its own. Instead, link it to the things leaders already care about: performance, retention, risk, and results.

Rather than “We have a toxic culture,” say:

“We’ve lost three great people in three months, and they all mentioned trust or leadership.”

“Our team is burnt out, and that’s starting to hit productivity.”

“There’s growing tension that’s slowing down decision-making.”

When you connect culture to commercial or operational impact, the conversation shifts.

2. Bring evidence, not just opinions

Yes, stories and lived experiences are powerful but when leaders are in denial, stories alone often get brushed aside.

What’s harder to ignore? Patterns.

Use the data you’ve got: engagement survey results, exit interviews, turnover rates, sick leave trends, or even Glassdoor reviews. When you can show a consistent picture, it’s harder to write off as “just a few complaints.”

Keep it simple: “Here’s what the numbers are telling us. Here’s what people are saying. Here’s what it’s costing us.”

3. Start small — but start somewhere

If the top team isn’t ready to act, don’t wait. Focus on the teams or leaders who are open to change.

Run a pilot program, do a values session, coach a few leaders, or start a “culture working group.” Then share the stories. Share the results. Culture is contagious in both directions. When other leaders see teams improving performance or engagement, they’ll start to take notice.

4. Bring in an outside voice

Sometimes it’s not what’s said — it’s who says it.

External facilitators or consultants can often say the hard truths in ways internal people can’t. They don’t carry the same politics, and they’re often seen as more objective.

You can also share case studies or stories from other organisations that ignored culture issues and paid the price. A bit of a reality check (without pointing fingers) can go a long way.

5. Keep the conversation constructive

Blaming leaders for the problem just shuts things down. Instead, try this:

“It’s no one’s fault; culture evolves, and this is a chance to reset.”

“We’ve grown a lot, and some of the old ways of working aren’t serving us anymore.”

“This is about getting ahead of potential issues, not looking for someone to blame.”

It’s amazing how quickly leaders lean in when they don’t feel like they’re being accused but invited to be part of the solution.

One last thing…

If you’re the person waving the culture flag and it feels like no one’s listening — hang in there! Culture change doesn’t happen overnight. Especially when it starts with hard conversations.

But it’s in those moments (the uncomfortable, confronting ones) that real shifts begin. You might just be planting the seed that leads to something bigger.

When people talk about culture, they usually go straight to the big-ticket items — company values, leadership behaviours, or strategic priorities. And sure, those things matter. But culture is also shaped in much quieter ways — in the words we use, the traditions we keep, and the symbols we rally around. These everyday cues often say more about “how things are done around here” than any official document ever could. 

At Flight Centre, where I spent over two decades, some of the most powerful cultural elements weren’t written in policies (we actually didn’t have many when I started!) — they were lived. We had Buzz Nites to celebrate results and performance, Nation Balls to recognise top teams, and the iconic Global Gathering — an international event that brought together high achievers from all corners of the business. Back then, I thought these were just great reward and recognition tools. But years later, I realised they were something deeper. They were rituals — and they played a huge role in embedding and reinforcing our culture. 

Why Rituals Matter 

Rituals create a shared sense of meaning. They’re the repeated moments that remind people: This is what we care about. This is who we are. Whether it’s kicking off meetings with a shout-out, welcoming new starters with a personal touch, or pausing to acknowledge team achievements— these little rituals make a big cultural impact. 

At Flight Centre, the build-up to Global Gathering was electric. It drove energy, healthy competition, and recognition — not just from leaders, but across peers. And it created this feeling of; I’m part of something bigger. I matter here. 

The Language We Use 

Words shape culture. The way leaders talk, and the catchphrases that stick, shape how people understand what’s valued. At Flight Centre, phrases like “brightness of future,” and “one best way,” weren’t just slogans — they were a kind of cultural shorthand. Over time, they shaped how people led, served customers, and made decisions. 

It’s worth thinking about the language you hear every day in your own organisation. What are the recurring phrases? Are they energising or limiting? Do they build connection or reinforce hierarchy? The way we speak can either build up culture — or slowly chip away at it. 

Symbols Speak Too 

Symbols — logos, awards, colours, photos on the wall — all carry cultural weight. They don’t need to be fancy or expensive to be powerful. The Flight Centre red, the open plan layouts, the travel posters and white boards— they were all cues that said, “This is who we are”. 

In your workplace, ask: What symbols are showing up? Do they reflect what your organisation values? Are they inclusive and inspiring — or out of date and overlooked? 

Culture Happens in the Everyday 

You don’t need a huge budget to build culture. Some of the most powerful rituals are simple and consistent. A Friday playlist. A monthly recognition award. A moment of gratitude at the start of a meeting. When these things are done with intention, they create a rhythm that connects people and reinforces belonging. 

Culture isn’t built in one-off events or town halls. It lives in the everyday — in the small choices, the repeated behaviours, and the way people feel when they walk into (or log into) work. 

What I’ve Come to Realise 

Looking back, the things I remember most about Flight Centre weren’t policies or strategy sessions — they were the rituals that made us feel connected, proud, and part of something bigger than ourselves. And I’ve come to see that if you want to grow or shift culture, you can’t just write about it or announce it. You have to live it — and ritualise it. 

Let’s be honest—giving feedback as a leader isn’t just hard. Sometimes it feels downright awkward, stressful, or even risky. You might worry about hurting someone’s feelings, damaging a relationship, or saying the wrong thing and making it worse. So instead, many leaders delay the conversation… or skip it entirely. 

Sound familiar? 

You’re not alone. Feedback avoidance is one of the most common (and costly) leadership habits. But here’s the catch: every time we don’t give feedback (especially the hard stuff) we’re making a silent choice about the culture we’re creating. 

Why is it so hard to give feedback? 

We’re wired to avoid conflict.
Our brains are wired for connection and safety. Giving feedback can feel like conflict, especially if we think the other person might react defensively or emotionally. 

We tell ourselves stories.
“They’ll get upset.” “It won’t make a difference.” “Now isn’t the right time.” These narratives let us off the hook and protect us from discomfort… but they also keep us from leading. 

We think we’re being kind.
Sometimes leaders avoid feedback in the name of being “nice.” But withholding feedback isn’t kindness—it’s self-protection disguised as compassion. True kindness is helping people grow, even when it’s uncomfortable. 

The cost of silence 

When leaders don’t give feedback, performance drifts, trust erodes, and clarity disappears. Here’s what starts to happen in a culture without feedback: 

• Standards slip quietly—because no one is holding the line. 

• Resentment builds—because high performers notice when others aren’t pulling their weight. 

• Growth stalls—because people aren’t being challenged to stretch. 

• Psychological safety suffers—because people sense something’s off, but no one is naming it. 

It’s not just about the individual, it’s about the message the whole team receives: “This is okay. This is acceptable here.” And once that message sets in, it’s hard to reverse. 

What happens when we do give feedback? 

Done well, feedback strengthens trust, brings out the best in people, and drives improvement and growth. It shows people you care enough to tell the truth. It says, “I know you’re capable, I believe in what you can do, and I’ve got your back.”  

The ripple effects are powerful: 

Teams get clearer on what good looks like. 

Performance improves, not just because people are corrected, but because they feel supported. 

A culture of openness and trust takes root, where tough conversations become normal, not rare. 

How to make it easier 

If you want to shift your feedback mindset (and your culture), here are three small shifts that make a big difference: 

From “feedback” to “forward.”
Feedback isn’t about pointing out flaws. It’s about helping someone move forward. Reframe it as support for growth, not criticism of character. 

Use the SBI model.
Situation – Behaviour – Impact.  

Be specific. “In Monday’s team meeting (situation), when you interrupted Jane (behaviour), it shut down her contribution and the team didn’t hear her idea (impact).”  

Practice micro-feedback.
Not every conversation has to be formal. Build a culture of everyday feedback; quick, in-the-moment insights that become part of how the team learns and evolves. 

And don’t underestimate the power of positive feedback. People need to hear what they’re doing well just as much as what needs to improve. When you regularly acknowledge effort, progress, or strengths, you reinforce the behaviours you want to see more of and you build confidence, motivation, and trust along the way. 

Positive feedback isn’t just a feel-good add-on, but a key driver of performance and culture. 

Something to think about 

Feedback is a leadership muscle. If it feels hard, it’s not because you’re bad at it! It’s human to avoid discomfort. But the leaders who lean into it, even imperfectly, shape cultures that are braver, clearer, and stronger. 

So next time you feel the urge to stay silent, pause and ask yourself:
What kind of culture am I creating by not speaking up? 

Then take a breath … and say what needs to be said.