Anyone who knows me knows I love entertaining. I enjoy planning the menu almost as much as the evening itself, but my favourite part is always sitting back once everyone has arrived and watching the conversations unfold.
Every dinner party has its own personality.
Some tables are full of laughter from the moment people sit down. Conversation flows easily and everyone seems to find their place.
Others take a little more work. One person dominates the conversation. Someone else barely says a word. There are people who naturally bring others in, and those who quietly make sure everyone else is looked after without expecting any recognition.
It occurred to me that organisations aren’t all that different.
If your culture was a dinner party, what would it look like?
- Who arrives genuinely looking forward to being there, and who walks through the door already counting down until they can leave?
- Who does all the talking? Is there one person who dominates every conversation while everyone else politely nods, or does everyone have the opportunity to contribute?
- Who keeps getting interrupted before they’ve finished their story?
- Who quietly clears the plates, refills everyone’s glass and makes sure everything runs smoothly, yet no one seems to notice?
- Who says very little because experience has taught them their opinion probably won’t change anything?
- Who leaves the table feeling energised, and who leaves exhausted?
Then there’s the host.
The best hosts aren’t the loudest people in the room. They notice who’s been quiet. They draw people into the conversation. They make introductions. They create an environment where everyone feels comfortable contributing, without forcing anyone to do so.
Leadership works much the same way.
The culture of an organisation is shaped by what leaders pay attention to, the conversations they encourage, the behaviours they recognise and the behaviours they allow to continue. It shows up in how meetings are run, how decisions are made and whether people feel comfortable speaking honestly when it matters most.
When I work with executive teams, we spend a lot of time discussing strategy, structure and performance. Before long, every conversation returns to people. How they work together. Whether they trust one another. Whether differing views are welcomed or quietly avoided. Whether everyone feels they have a genuine place in the discussion, or whether only a handful of voices influence the outcome.
People rarely remember every detail of a meeting, just as they rarely remember every course of a dinner party. They remember how they felt when they walked away.
This week, take a moment to look at your own leadership team through that lens.
- Who contributes easily and who holds back?
- Whose ideas receive the most attention?
- Who carries responsibility without much recognition?
- What would someone new to the team notice after sitting in one executive meeting?
The answers often tell you more about your culture than any engagement survey ever could.
So here’s my question for you:
If your organisation was hosting a dinner party, would people be looking forward to the invitation?
Or would they already be planning their excuse to leave early?