One-on-Ones: The Unsung Heroes of Culture
One-on-ones rarely make anyone’s “favourite part of the week” list. We know they’re good for us, but they can easily slip down the priority queue.
Done well, they’re far more than check-ins. They’re quiet culture builders where trust, feedback, and connection take shape.
The Myth of the Meeting
For some leaders, one-on-ones are like dental appointments: twice a year, slightly awkward, and followed by good intentions to do better next time.
For others, they’re glorified to-do list reviews with extra eye contact.
Neither builds culture.
Culture isn’t created in offsites or strategy days. It grows through small, human moments — the conversations where people feel seen, supported, and valued.
If your one-on-ones feel like a formality, it’s time to reset the approach.
Think Conversation, Not Calendar Invite
A great one-on-one feels more like a coffee chat than a meeting with minutes. You don’t need a strict agenda, just curiosity and presence.
Try asking:
-
What’s working well at the moment?
-
Where are the frustrations?
-
Where do you need my support or a decision from me?
You’re not checking progress; you’re checking temperature. When people feel that you care, they’ll bring you honesty, not just updates.
But I’m So Busy…
I know the feeling — trying to have a meaningful chat while mentally writing a report and wondering if you’ve had lunch.
But being busy isn’t a reason to skip one-on-ones. It’s the reason you need them.
When people don’t feel connected or clear, confusion and rework multiply. Suddenly, you’re fielding “Can I grab you for five minutes?” interruptions — which are just poorly timed one-on-ones.
Twenty minutes a fortnight can save hours later. If you’re short on time, make them shorter, walk together, or call instead. The value is in the focus, not the format.
Feedback Without Fear
One-on-ones are the best setting for real, timely feedback — not the kind that appears once a year and makes everyone uncomfortable.
Regular, low-stakes feedback normalises honesty. Over time, you build a culture where feedback feels safe and helpful, not risky.
Consistency Builds Safety
Cancelling one-on-ones sends a message that someone isn’t a priority. Life happens, you’ll miss one occasionally, but consistency signals that connection matters.
You wouldn’t water a plant once a quarter and expect it to thrive. The same principle applies here.
My Favourite Question
If you only ask one thing, make it this: “What’s one thing that would make your week easier?”
It’s simple, practical, and shows you care about their experience, not just their output.
Sometimes the answer is a process tweak. Sometimes it’s, “Can you please tell Jim to stop microwaving tuna?” Either way, you’re listening and acting AND building the foundations of culture.
Culture Grows in the Quiet Moments
Culture isn’t the posters or the yoga classes. It’s how people feel when they close their laptop at the end of the day.
One-on-ones shape that feeling. They remind people that they matter and that this workplace is worth their best.
So next time you’re tempted to cancel, remember: you’re not cancelling a meeting; you’re cancelling a moment to build culture.
Get one-on-ones right, and they’ll do more for your culture than any team-building day ever could (and no matching shirts required).