You know that colleague who always brings cake on their birthday, remembers your dog’s name, and holds the lift for you? Lovely person. Every workplace should have them.
But here’s the thing: being nice and having an inclusive culture aren’t the same thing.
Nice is surface-level harmony. Inclusion is deeper. It’s about making sure everyone gets to show up fully, be heard, and shape what happens next.
The “Nice” Trap
Years ago, I worked somewhere that was… pleasant. People said good morning, offered you a cuppa, and signed your birthday card. But when we were in meetings, the same three people ran the conversation. I once suggested a different way of running a project based on something I’d seen work before, and the response was, “We’ve always done it this way.”
It wasn’t malicious. It was just that “different” wasn’t part of the culture. The unspoken rule was: Be agreeable, don’t rock the boat.
It felt friendly, but it wasn’t inclusive.
The Inclusive Shift
Then I moved to another team where things looked similar on the outside. Still friendly, still a decent coffee machine. But there was this subtle difference.
If you were quiet in a meeting, the manager would say, “Hey Alex, you’ve worked on something like this before, what’s your take?”
When a colleague mentioned a holiday I’d never heard of, instead of moving on, someone asked, “Tell us about it. What’s the tradition?”
Here, different ideas didn’t just get airtime. They got tried. And sometimes, they actually replaced “the way we’ve always done it.”
That’s the thing about inclusion: it’s not about being endlessly agreeable. It’s about making room for more voices, more perspectives, more ways of doing things.
The Tell-Tale Signs
If you’re wondering whether your culture is inclusive or just nice, look for the clues:
- Are the same people always talking in meetings?
- When someone shares a different perspective, does it spark curiosity or does the conversation quietly move on?
- Do people feel safe to disagree without being labelled “negative”?
Small Shifts That Change Everything
The good news? You don’t need a grand “Inclusion Initiative” to start moving the needle.
- Rotate who leads the meeting. You’ll hear voices you didn’t before.
- Mark a wider range of celebrations and milestones.
- Ask quieter team members for their thoughts (and give them time to prepare if needed).
- Follow through on someone’s idea. Show it’s not just lip service.
A Quick Story to Bring It Home
A leader I know spotted a quiet star on her team. Brilliant at her work, but rarely spoke in the big team meeting. Instead of assuming she wasn’t interested, the leader asked her to share one small update in a smaller group. The next month, she asked her to co-present with a colleague.
Six months later, that same person was confidently running strategy sessions, and her ideas had become core to the way the team operated.
All it took was someone making space for her to be more than just “pleasant to have around.”
The Bottom Line
Nice cultures feel good, but they can be a bit like a well-decorated waiting room. Comfortable, but not somewhere you grow.
Inclusive cultures? They’re still nice, but they’re also bold, curious, and willing to be changed by the people in them.
So, here’s the question:
In your workplace, are people just fitting in… or do they truly belong?
Because belonging is where the magic happens.